Mum praised for punishing ‘spoiled’ daughter after she screamed at their nanny
A mum says she feels like she’s failed a parent due to her daughter’s behaviour, however others have praised how she responded to the issue
A mum is being praised after revealing the lengths she’s going to, to punish her teen daughter, after she was rude and disrespectful to their family nanny.
The mum, who grew up in foster care with not an awful lot, shares three children, 13-year-old Bea, Paul, 10, and eight-year-old Zoe, with her husband, who grew up privileged in a wealthy family.
Her husband has also done very well for himself and takes care of her and the children, providing anything they’ve ever needed, with the kids never wanting for anything.
“I’m very appreciative of everything my husband has done for us and have always made sure to let my kids know that we are very lucky and very spoiled. I’ve tried to always instil in them that we should always take care of people where we can and always pay people properly for services they provide for us,” the mum wrote on Reddit’s AITA forum.
“I’ve always had my kids pack up clothes or things they’ve outgrown and we donate them to those that need them more. I thought I was doing a good thing and teaching them to have empathy and understanding of just how lucky we are. Well I guess I failed as a mother.”
A few days ago, the mum-of-three came home to find her eldest daughter screaming at their nanny, saying, “you’re a maid, that’s what we pay you for, to clean up after our family, do your job. She was absolutely furious, but remained calm in front of her daughter, sent her to her room and took away her electrics.
Their nanny was left in tears and explained that all she’d done was ask the 13-year-old to put her dirty washing in the basket so she could start the laundry, but she refused.
“This woman has helped me through postpartum with all my kids, she’s literally been a rock for me and our family for 13 years. I love her and see her as family and I’m still upset over how she was treated. I gave her a couple of paid days off to decompress and let her go home.”
When her husband got home, they agreed that as punishment, they will keep hold of Bea’s electronics, and she must spend her weekends volunteering at the youth centre for under privileged kids – somewhere that helped her mum a lot when she grew up in care. The teen must also write an apology letter to their nanny and do all her chores herself – including looking after her puppy.
“My husband and I sat down with her and explained all of this to her, I also told her that she doesn’t pay anybody for anything, she has no money of her own aside from what she has saved from birthdays/allowance and that having people in our home to help us is a privilege, not a right,” the mum continued.
“Until she can understand this, I expect her to take full care of herself and not accept any help from the people her father pays to give us an easier life. None of this is up for debate and her father and I will talk in four weeks to see if we think she understands our point then.”
Shortly after their conversation, the teen went running to her grandmother on her dad’s side, and the whole of that side of family told them they are completely out of order and are “ruining” their daughter, but the mum’s family have said the complete opposite.
The mum then turned to Reddit to question whether she and her husband had really gone too far in punishing their daughter.
“Actually, that is perfect parenting if you ask me. You didn’t scream or escalate the situation, and you had a conversation with everyone involved before making your decision. I think your daughter can definitely learn from this, and should,” one Reddit user responded.
“She overstepped in a tremendously cruel way, and now she gets to deal with the consequences of that. Well done, I think you did a great job.”
Another added: “Seems like well thought out consequences to some pretty atrocious behaviour from your daughter. This could be a defining moment of her life where how you respond will determine how she treats people and what she believes about the value of others. Stick to your guns and follow through.”